The Tragedy of 80's Hair

The Tragedy of 80's Hair

Curiously missing in action during the 1980’s were not only the Fashion Police, but the hair police as well. I don’t know if it was the multitude of cheap hairspray like Aquanet that was so readily available, or an apparent ease for beauty school licensing, but pretty much across the board, hair styles in the 1980’s left more than a little something to be desired.

The tools of the trade were often a comb, the aforementioned Aquanet, the godawful hair-damaging sun-bleaching product known as Sun-in, and big-assed hair-dryers. Just in case you are on the look-out for a little inspiration before you head to that 80’s retro party you’ve been planning to go, check out the following styles and choose wisely.

The bigger the better was the motto for hair-styles in the 80's. The more hairspray you used, the more bonus points you received. Bonus points could then be cashed in for either dates, bad-girl status, or the right to become a cheerleader. I'm guessing this woman went for bad-girl status. To attain this level of hair heights, simply check out the art of teasing your hair. Cover your nose, get out the Aquanet, hairdryer, and comb, and prepare to scare yourself with your reflection.

Eddie Van Halen was known for his guitar playing in Van Halen, drug-use, and his hair. Trust me, he was one of the inspirations for the 80's generation of "Hair Bands". This is the male equivalent of the big-hair phase. And, as a word to the wise, what worked well in the 80's doesn't work well now.

Unfortunately, some of the fashion victims among the 80's population were children with reckless mothers and fathers. I am warning you, do not attempt the rat tail hair at home. It could have severe consequences for your reputation.

The mullet has to be the least highly-regarded hair style in the history of hair styles, unless of course you are a Canadian hockey fan or you live in Boise in which case it is a perfectly acceptable hair style. If you are a mother reading this, I urge you to consider a different hairstyle for your son.

The Flock of Seagulls was an unfortunate fashion trend for many reasons. It inspired the whole bat-caver movement, which later became the goth movement. Please note that I use the term movement lightly as there probably wasn't any political agenda associated with this hair style. I, myself, sported a rather assymetrical haircut at that time.