Lady Gaga's Fashion Column: Pretentious and Annoying


 

Whether she is riding in egg-cocoons or attractively dressed raw flesh dripping with blood, it is stunningly obvious to everyone in the entire pop-loving culture world that Lady Gaga loves nothing better than making a grand entrance when the cameras are turned on. However, the fashion world hasn’t quite decided whether or not this makes Lady Gaga a great fashion writer.

 

In her new fashion column in V Magazine, Gaga explains that she is a librarian of pop culture fashion; as a warning to anyone daring to criticize her writing, she states that anyone should be able to understand her fashion column. Despite the ferocity of her warning, the “critics” haven’t remained silent about Gaga’s fashion column, which has been called “pretentious,” "annoying," and worse. Gawker, who broke the story, was not all that impressed with Lady Gaga’s column and neither was Media Bistro who wrote: 

 

“Essentially Gaga writes as pretentiously as possible, lecturing readers about how much fashion knowledge she has and why she’s so transcendent as an artist.”

 

In the column, Gaga discusses her inspirations for fashion on her music videos. And, although she is a self-proclaimed librarian of fashion, Gaga’s truthful fashion inspiration is derived from more than just books and fashion magazines. For example, the artist prides herself on her in-depth knowledge of biology. Regarding her mini-egg parade:

 

the Hussein Chalayan vessel I wore at the Grammys wasn’t inspired by a chicken. It was stolen from an egg. But the transformation, the context, and the approach taken to reinterpret the meaning of birth and rebirth in terms of fame on a fucking red carpet?—?this is what creates the modernity of the statement. The past undergoes mitosis, becoming the originality of the future.

 

Gaga’s “Born This Way" video was inspired by her youth; the specific inspiration for the video was apparently a combination of Bazooka bubble gum and memories of freely dancing with her mother as a kid. While the video was made to reach out to all audiences, she felt a strong need to connect with the younger generation in the video.

 

Like most who read the column, I am uncertain as to who Lady Gaga is trying to reach out to with her fashion commentary and incredibly well-documented sources. Was it really necessary to use the word “mitosis” to describe a re-birth? You know, given that she likes to reach out to the youth audience and all? And, while she does list several names that inspired her, she fails to explain how they inspired her.

 

Of course, because she is Gaga and because she wears meat on occasion, her fashion column will still be a success.

 

 

 

 

 

Ballet Style

Ballerina tricks you can steal for everyday glamour

 

It’s no secret; I’m a singer and a dancer and I LOVE my rehearsal clothes and dance wear.  Rarely do I feel as glamorous as I do when I’m trying the ribbons on my point shoes or stretching in my yoga pants and comfy sweater.  I often get asked if I’m a dancer, and while the answer IS yes, most of the time it is not because I am doing something “dancer-ish,” but because I carry over those little ballet and dance inspired dressing and accessorizing feelings into my day-to-day life.  No one says you can’t feel like a pretty ballerina every day!   Here are my five favorite ways to channel my inner ballerina, on or off the dance floor.  So take one, two, or all of these ballet inspirations and build them into your wardrobe, whether in the exercise room or a weekend brunch with the gals (after all, ballerinas like mimosas too!)

Post earrings

Ballet dancers usually don’t wear earrings at all, but if they do, petite posts are it.  No dangling earrings, you don’t want to get a big hoop stuck on your partner’s shirt during that pas de deux.  Opt for simple studs of pearl or a nice pearl and crystal mix.

Tights and leg warmers

We all know tights are essential for any good ballerina and often to keep warm before class begins, we layer on leg warmers.  Leg warmers if worn in black or pretty pinks are soft and simple, not 1980s feeling, leave the neons for Halloween.  Plus, if you’re wearing think tights and leg warmers, you can wear those cute flouncy jersey skirts or even a tutu tulle inspired one regardless of the weather outside.  Need to wear those rain boots?  Let your tall leg warmers peek out the top.

Shoes with ribbons

This one is a no brainer, ballet pointe shoes have beautiful ribbons that wrap around the ankle.  Thankfully ballet flats and shoes with ribbons are in fashion, so finding a pair shouldn’t be tricky.  Looking for a dressy pair?  I love these ballroom inspired heels by Angela Nuran, Starletta, available in black and silver patent leather.

Feathers in the hair

Channel your inner Swan Lake, or Natalie Portman a la Black Swan depending on the day, and add some feathers into your hair.  Thanks to the royal wedding, fascinators and petite hair wraps are in the spotlight and easier to find than ever.  Lots of local twenty something shops like Forever 21 and Charlotte Russe carry feather inspired hair pieces, or check out bridal shops.  Lots of bridal designers create feathers in peacocks, blacks, and other colors in addition to the traditional bridal white and ivory.  A piece I love, this chic hairpin from Sara Gabriel, Izzy.

Buns and hair spray

Don’t forget to pull your hair back.!  The rule for ballet…Chic, slicked back buns and not a hair out of place.  There are tons of online tutorials for creating that perfect bun, but nothing is easier than making a pony tail and wrapping the tail around itself.  Add some bobby pins to secure, invest in some quality hairspray, and voila!

Where to Shop: Discount Dance, Forever 21, Agaci, H&M, Ragstock Chicago, American Apparel

Don’t forget thrift, second hand, and vintage stores too!

Hipster Kitsch

Why it's the worst

 

Our generation is unique in that it’s the first to take imagery from the past fifty or so years and dilute it down to an easily packaged brand of “cool”. The cutting edge of the present is saturated with fake vintage aesthetics and cheap recreations of 20th century art. Browse around Tumblr awhile and you’ll see what I mean. There are blogs, run mainly by girls in their 20s, dedicated entirely to pictures of an idealized “bohemian” lifestyle. Apparently, the perfect life for a young, fashionable person these days involves owning lots of books, a guitar, some indiscriminate art, and a bunch of hippie clothes.

The trend scalps the surface off of several counterculture movements of the 20th century. Aesthetics that used to symbolize real political beliefs have now been heavily commercialized and sold to well-off young people who want to feel amorphously rebellious. It might have sprung from the fact that all wealthy white children are told that they will be special, unique forces in the world—that they are creative and beautiful snowflakes no matter what. They then grow up to eat up products that reinforce this feeling, that give the base satisfaction of feeling ambiguously “unique”. 

These are the same people who own walls full of very intellectual books but have only really read Dave Eggers. They love feeling smart, postmodern, and on the cusp of literary trends, but are unwilling to do the work to get to that point. They enjoy looking like they love art by hanging prints of mock-Roethke on their urban apartment walls.

Urban Outfitters knows their market all too well. Their clothes and home products are cheaply made, but they rack up the prices because they know consumers will pay a lot for a well-tailored hipster aesthetic. They know trust fund babies in skinny purple jeans will pay a hundred dollars for a fake plaster deer head or an abstract wall decal. Because these products are edgy in their aloof irony, they sell.

I’ve seen custom pieces on tattoo blogs that were taken out from an Urban Outfitters “painting”. Every third rich adolescent seems to have an owl tattoo these days. Our generation has devoured the vintage counterculture aesthetic and now we’re crapping out cheap plastic imitations. We pay a four hundred percent markup for brand new products that look forty years old.  We have gone completely insane. 

What bothers me the most is the disregard for the ethics that accompanied the original looks. We want to dress like hippies, but we have no interest in being activists. We don’t watch the news. We have no political affiliations. Anti-war college students died protesting Vietnam. Real hippies lost their friends to a real-world struggle. Now, our biggest problems seem to be that our iPhones are too slow sometimes.

Our generation is all surface, no substance. The powers that be know this and will sell us the images of generations past indefinitely. They profit from our vague imitations of movements that actually meant something. Nike bought Converse and sells the iconic All-Stars to pseudo-punks who don’t know any better. Ours is a spoiled generation of aesthetics without ethics. Who will become the monsters in our kingdom of kitsch?

Is There an Expiration Date on Older Women Wearing Mini-Skirts?

Former Super-Models Can Wear Mini-Skirts

Whether or not to wear a mini-skirt is yet another serious fashion conundrum that gets increasingly difficult as a woman gets a little older. Many women who have always had great legs start to wonder if the mini-skirt is still ok to wear at a certain age.

Is there an absolute age when it’s time to get rid of all of the mini-skirts, micro-skirts, and short shorts in a woman’s closet or should this crucial decision be made on a case-by-case basis? Does it really matter if an older woman wears a shockingly-short mini-skirt to a party or around town? How old does the woman have to be before the mini-skirt or the micro-mini is moved from the Do column to the Don’t?

Of course, as THIS site observes, if a woman has the legs and body of a Heidi Klum or Elle McPherson, she’s probably going to be A-OK for a micro-mini for quite a long time, but how about for the rest of the population? Is there an age at which a mini-skirt becomes an absolute Don’t?

From what I’ve read on the subject, there doesn’t seem to be a definitive age at which a woman shouldn’t be wearing a mini-skirt.

As recently as 2009, British women were buying and wearing mini-skirts well into their 40’s and sometimes into their 50’s. The possible reasons for the increase in British mini-skirt sales are endless. Maybe it’s because British women are more independent or maybe it’s just because more women are going to the gym and would like the chance to show off their gams to the guys around them.

If a woman chooses to wear a mini-skirt at an older age, there are a few small steps she can take to ensure that her legs look better and that she feels confident about her decision.

For bare legs in mini-skirts: Tan and hairless is the way to go. Fake tans are ok, too.

For non-bare legs in mini-skirts:  You have the option to either wear tights, pale stockings, or knee-highs, depending on what works for you. If you are uncomfortable about varicose veins, you might want to go with the safer route and wear tights; this way, your legs will appear more shapely and any lines that shouldn’t be seen will remain unseen.

Mini-skirt colors: Darker-colored mini-skirts can smooth out any bulges that you might have in the dreaded belly-fat region.

Why You Should Wear a Hat...Now!

Hats...like frosting for your head.

The soon to be Princess Catherine Middleton was not the first person to don a chic cocktail hat or fascinator (although many are giving her credit for it), but she certainly thrust them into the spotlight.   Wearing a cute cocktail hat or petite fascinator isn’t just for the British though.   Donning a small hat is almost always appropriate, and a fantastic way to guarantee you’ll always look put together.  Think about it, add a well fitting cloche to your head during those blustery winter months, and instead of looking like a wind blown mess, all of a sudden you look chic and mysterious.  Throw on a pair of sunglasses to add to the movie star effect.    Adding hats into your wardrobe is easy; almost any hat will do, the trick is to keep them well fitted and proportionate to your size.  Sorry 5’1” ladies, save the wide, floppy brims for sipping margaritas pool side in Mexico.

An attention grabbing fascinator or hat can be made from almost anything.  What is a fascinator you ask?  It’s simply a small hair adornment made of almost anything from horsehair to French tulle or oversized silk flowers and is usually petite in nature.  Check out this bridal blog for a better explanation here.  You can purchase a chic fascinator or petite hat from almost any major retailer.  Try Forever 21 or H&M for a wide variety of headbands, flowers, and fascinators at inexpensive prices.  Don’t over look thrift store though.  Lots of big cities have tons of thrift, vintage, and consignment shops that are great places to search for a hat to add to a collection.  Prefer to make one of your own?  Grab those pretty silk flowers from the back of your closet and pin two or three in your hair, or add some feathers to the back of your favorite brooch or pin.  Don’t want to purchase a new hat?  Add some ribbon, flowers, or even a small cameo to the side of a hat you already have for an instant update.  A great source for hats?  Your boyfriend’s closet.   Add some pretty pieces to that fedora and feel instantly more beautiful.

Looking to purchase a new hat?  Opt for a classic shape in a neutral color.  A chic, cloche is perfect for those petite ladies, while a fedora looks fabulous on almost anyone.  Invest in colors you are sure to love for a while, tans, black, or even red are all a sure bet and will match with almost anything.  If you’re shopping for a special occasion, feel free to go all out and select a gorgeous piece that will compliment your outfit.  Sara Gabriel, a New York based bridal veil designer creates stunning pieces in a variety of colors…not just your traditional whites and ivories.

Adding hats and fascinators into your wardrobe is sure to pay off.  When you wear a hat, people notice.  Imagine walking into that wedding reception with a gorgeous, summer-y cluster of flowers pinned into your hair, even the bride will be jealous.

The Visible Panty Line (VLP): OK or Not?

 

The Guardian UK has spoken on an all-important fashion question that many women have been struggling with:

 

Are the 1970s back in style and if so, does this mean that panty lines are ok again?

 

Haldey Freeman, fashion expert extradonnaire, gives the VLP (Visible Panty Line) a definitive no. She corrects a common mis-conception about decades being brought back into fashion; just because a decade is back in fashion, it doesn’t mean that everything from the decade has to be brought along for the ride.

 

To make the rules about the 1970s absolutely clear:

 

“This means in the specific case of the return of the 70s, long skirts, yes; men with perms, no; gold detailing and blouses, yes; espadrilles and VPL, no. No, no, no.”

 

Whatever you do, don’t mistake the UK fashion writer for a typical G-string Fascist: Hadley Freeman strongly contends that she is not a “G-string Fascist and believes that G-strings it is about as sexy as a colostomy bag. And as with a colostomy bag, it is there to serve a purpose, namely, to prevent VPL.”

 

In a nutshell, consider wearing a G-string not as a fashionable decision to highlight the beauty of your nearly-naked backside, but as a way to smooth out and eliminate that troublesome VLP that plagues all women too lazy (or uptight) to allow what amounts to a piece of dental floss to crawl up their behinds. To paraphrase Hadley Freeman, it’s just considered good manners to wear a G-string to get rid of the VLP.

Would You Buy Courtney Love's Old Clothes?

Everyone here in Seattle loves to hate Courtney Love. This is partially because she’s kind of nasty and partially because people in Seattle see Courtney Love as a Yoko Ono-type.  Some even blame Courtney Love for Kurt Cobain’s death.

Whatever the reason is that people in Seattle and elsewhere across the planet LOATHE Courtney Love, the clothing that she put on Ebay is not all that much more popular than she is. Perhaps people are worried about the high cost of laundering the clothes or are wondering what traces of coke or heroin can found be found on the clothes. (I'm guessing lots.) Or maybe they just don’t like her particular taste in clothing. (Look at the pics--this is entirely possible.) 

Take a look-see HERE and let me know what you think. Would you pay your hard-earned dollars for the right to wear Courtney Love’s clothes? Some of the clothes were worn by the star herself and other items of clothing just held a special (or not so-special) place in her heart. Of course, since many believe that she either has a heart of stone or has been on too many drugs throughout the years, that might not mean all that much.

Courtney Love might have a better chance of selling her clothing if she marketed it under the name of Kurt Cobain's associate--and no one would be any the wiser.

These shoes are going for around $268 at the time of writing and might have a better chance of selling than this Mrs. Santa dress which is entirely seasonal. 


PajamaJeans: Wear Them for Days

Note the PajamaJeans "Smooth Butt-Lifting Design"

 

Pajama Jeans

Two-for-one. If you like wearing pajamas and you like wearing jeans, I’m thinking that Pajama-Jeans will be the perfect solution to your lower-half clothing needs. As this amazingly fantabulous commercial touts: PajamaJeans have a “smooth, butt-lifting design, ”are “soft as a baby’s blanket” and fit women of “all sizes” from petite to extra-large.  And did I mention that PajamaJeans look like your favorite designer jeans?

Who wouldn’t be impressed by PajamaJeans?

Think of the possibilities: you can sleep in your PajamaJeans, wake up, and wear your PajamaJeans all day long without anyone being any wiser to the fact that you haven’t changed your jeans or underwear in thirteen days.

What Would Jackie Do? An Inspired Guide to Distinctive Living [Hardcover]

Shelly Branch (Author), Sue Callaway (Author)

Amazon is offering What Would Jackie Do? An Inspired Guide to Distinctive Living [Hardcover] for only $16.88 with FREE shipping if you have Amazon Prime or spend over $25. 

"We can’t help but want to be like her: Exuding unmatched poise and style, she continues to fascinate people of all ages. But how would Jackie have handled the twenty-first-century? What would she think about a society that celebrates outsized egos, instant everything, and casual rules of conduct? How might she dress for the office, scan for a man, accessorize a home—and get away from it all when necessary? With intriguing research, commentary from today’s experts, and fond reminiscences from those who knew and admired the first lady of perfection, journalists Shelly Branch and Sue Callaway now offer a sparkling answer to the question, What Would Jackie Do?"

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Calm Coat Omega Chews and EFA Fatty Acid Shampoo Combo Pack

It's the gift that keeps on giving!

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Treat your dog to a full, shiny coat, smooth skin and healthy immune system today - on the cheap of course.

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