At least, in the future, it’s possible that your clothes could stalk your or spy on you.

Scientists are currently working on some kind of “smart clothes” that will be able to not only see and hear, but also speak. It’s just what we all need—something to talk back when we talk to ourselves.

The Massachusetts Institute of Technology is using a process akin to the processing of saltwater taffy (believe it or not) to make these “intelligent fibers.”

Why on Earth do we need such clothing is what first comes to mind when I think about this. Every time I hear about some new strange development, I always question whether research dollars could be better spent on—oh, I don’t know, curing cancer or stopping global warming. After all, these causes have to have fundraisers every year and we still don’t have our answers and people are still dying; I think they’re much worthier candidates for study than South Park “Towelie” knockoffs. Nobody likes a talking towel—who’s going to want a talking shirt?

Researchers say the fibers are being developed for a variety of reasons. MIT scientist Yoel Fink says, “We want to see how sophisticated a fiber can become to see how many different functions we can put into it.”

Hidden microphones that can be used in loudspeakers is cited as one use of the fibers, but we all know better than that; hidden mics aren’t famously used for crowded arenas but for other hush-hush operations—like oral sex in the oval office, entrapment scenarios, catching cheating husbands, and other spicy human sagas. Of course, if these kinds of fibers were widespread, we wouldn’t feel safe uttering anything to anyone. Google Earth wouldn’t have anything on this invasive technology.

The U.S. Army, in fact, is already testing the fibers. The medical market is expected to put them to use as well—to take difficult ultrasound images and to record blood flow data, say experts.

Call me crazy, but I’m suddenly envisioning a world of Terminator-like shirts searching the world for John Conner. And shouldn’t we work on sophisticating humankind itself before we apply the technology to our clothes?

The fibers have already been produced at least once. “Civilian applications” are expected to develop within the next ten years, so not only will you be able to spill your entire life on your social network or blog, but also to anyone who has a t-shirt with recording capabilities. What ever happened to good old fashioned privacy?